Bachelor Recap Week 3: Shut Up, Sarah (and Everyone Else Except Katie)

Am I necessarily on Sarah’s side? No. Am I on the other girls’ sides? Also, no.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

After this week, I am officially Team Katie, AKA Vibrator Girl, and I commend her for doing the improbable and overcoming the heinous nickname she received during Week One. Katie did not tolerate bullying and showed grace and forgiveness to Sarah, who truly did not deserve it.

At the end of Monday’s episode, former front runner Sarah self-eliminated, and the reason why she did it is still unclear. She said that she couldn’t handle seeing Matt with the other girls, her dad has ALS and she felt like she needed to be with him, and, lastly, that the other girls were bullying her. During the episode, she committed the Number One Bachelor sin and interrupted a cocktail party, and the energy in the house was toxic from then on. Did she make the right move by going home? Let’s dive in.

Last week’s rose ceremony was cut short when Sarah passed out in the middle of it. At the beginning of Monday’s episodes, the girls are all angry at Sarah because she is getting extra quality time with Matt. One of them, Anna, the Hannah Brown wannabe with Crazy EyesTM, said that, by passing out, she was getting ‘exactly what she wanted’. Anna clearly does not work in the medical field. By the end of the rose ceremony, Matt kept Victoria and sent Marylynn packing. #JusticeForMarylynn, and I hope to see her at Paradise. She deserved far better than to suffer under the reign of Queen Victoria for absolutely no reason. Also, whoever taught Victoria the word ‘toxic’ needed to do a better job of explaining what it means because I don’t think Victoria understands.

After the rose ceremony, Victoria says that Sarah is worse than Marylynn and says all the ‘fake b*tches’, referring to Sarah, can ‘go home’. I thought Victoria was being dramatic, but after watching the whole episode, I’m not so sure.

First, a few of the girls go on the group date, which is basically a giant marketing ploy to endorse Chris Harrison’s Wattpad fanfiction erotic novel. With the help of Bachelor Nation’s most notorious crier, Ashley I., the girls need to write an erotic short story featuring Matt and read them in front of a live studio audience, or the other girls. While watching the girls prep for their performance, I could barely focus on the girls because I was stuck on the whole ‘Chris Harrison wrote an erotic novel’ concept. To think, I could’ve gone my whole life without knowing about The Perfect Letter. Not show related, but the Amazon summary does include the word ‘taint’ in a non-sexual yet very sexual way. The Huffington Post also called it the ‘best worst book’. Adding it to my Goodreads!

All the girls bring it, especially Katie AKA Vibrator Girl and, of course, Queen Victoria. Before the date, Victoria told Ashley I. that she wants to show Matt her ‘depth’. If she accomplished that, we couldn’t hear it. Her story was so dirty that the producers basically censored the entire thing. Same with Katie’s, but at least Katie’s had some plot development at the beginning. After the group date, Sarah cries for what seems like the tenth time in this episode alone and says she ‘didn’t know it would be this hard’. Come on, Sarah! It’s only Week 3, and this is at least Week 5 behavior.

The group date went well until Sarah decided to break Rule One of Bachelor Nation. Why people still do this, I don’t know. It never goes well. As the girls were vibing with Matt, Sarah decided that she needed to talk to him ASAP, so she put on her cutest little outfit and cut into Katie’s precious time with Matt. While the girls were hanging out at the house, Sarah stayed upstairs, away from the group, and stared dramatically into a fireplace as she contemplated going home. She then decided that the best way to handle this would be to disrupt the other girls’ time with Matt, and when she walks in, Katie shoots daggers at her with her eyes.

When Katie talks to the other girls away from Matt and Sarah, Victoria says that she should stand up for herself and cut into Sarah’s time as well. In the middle of a heart-to-heart where Matt basically rewards Sarah’s bad behavior and tells her that she has no reason to worry, Katie butts back in and awkwardly stands by the wall with her arms folded. She then hears their chat escalate and decides that the best course of action would be to sit on the couch with them until Sarah leaves. Katie is literally me every time I third wheel hang out with my friends.

Sarah tries to apologize to the rest of the girls, but they aren’t having it since Chris Harrison explicitly stated that everyone had a date this week and she could’ve easily talked to him another time. Victoria is so angry about the incident that she follows Sarah after she leaves and tells her that what she did was not cool. Katie cuts in about halfway through and serves a surprisingly graceful speech considering what Sarah did to her. We love a sex-positive, peacemaking queen.

At the end of the cocktail party, Matt gives Rachael, the crier, a well-deserved rose. Rachel caused no drama at the group date or during the cocktail party, and she really pushed herself to venture out of her comfort zone. You go, Rachael! (Also, my apologies to Rachael for spelling her name wrong for the last two weeks.)

After the unnecessarily dramatic group date, Matt goes on a one-on-one date with Serena P., who hasn’t gotten much screen time but seems sweet. Before the date, when Matt goes to the ‘house’ to pick up Serena, Sarah is nowhere to be found. When Matt realizes this, he finds her in her hotel room and tells her that he still wants her around. I’m getting Clare and Dale vibes from this whole situation, and if they want to leave together, great. I like Matt, but I think he’s disrespecting the other girls by giving Sarah so much time. He does eventually leave with Serena, but without really addressing the whole Sarah situation. Matt, please do better.

On their date, Serena and Matt ride horses to a field and have a picnic. Serena makes fun of Matt for liking turtles, and, for personal reasons, I’m totally on her side. During dinner later, Serena tells Matt that she was with a man she thought she’d end up with, but they broke up. Since she’s only 22, I’m guessing she’s talking about her high school boyfriend. Let’s just all agree not to tell Matt. Matt repeats the whole ‘I’ve never been in love’ schtick, eventually gives Serena the rose, and then they make out in a hot tub. Rooting for you, girl, but like, yawn.

Back at the house, Sarah finally comes downstairs for the first time all week just as Rachel is about to read the date card and to say that that the other girls weren’t thrilled would be one heck of an understatement. Sarah tries to apologize, but none of the girls want anything to do with her and accuse her of being ‘calculative’, ‘manipulative’, and ‘toxic’. Sarah says that she wants to make amends with the other girls, but Victoria butts in and says that they do not want to make amends with her. Kit adds that she hopes that Sarah’s connection with Matt is strong, because the rest of her time there is going to be ‘horrible’. I do agree that Sarah was causing a lot of issues, but those girls, particularly Kit and Victoria, were being just plain mean. I was starting to like Victoria, but now I can’t get over what a mean girl she is. Like, girl. Bye.

After the whole showdown, Katie, being the true queen that she is, follows Sarah and tells her she is not okay with the way the other women spoke to her, and honestly, I’m not either. Sarah opens up about her dad’s diagnosis with ALS and Katie encourages her to go home and be with him. Katie tells her that her dad died when she was 12, and she would do anything to get the time back with him that she lost. Sarah and Katie hug it out, and Sarah packs up to go home. The next day, Katie tells the other girls that Sarah is leaving and reminds them to ‘stay classy in this process’.

When Matt asks Sarah why she’s leaving when she goes to say good-bye to him, she tells him that the girls bullied her. She’s been getting a lot of slack online for giving him a different answer than she gave Katie, but honestly, I get it. Bullying is not okay, and Sarah probably didn’t feel comfortable telling Katie the real reason why she left because Katie did not stand up for her while it was happening. Matt and Sarah say a tearful good-bye to each other. The episode ends without a rose ceremony, and we’re left to wonder if we’ll have to endure yet another week of Queen Victoria’s vicious reign.

Next week, a whole new crop of girls is coming to the house and one of them may or may not be an escort. Bring on the drama!

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